“If the only tool you have is a hammer, you treat everything like a nail.”

“If you win the rat race, you're still a rat.”

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift; that is why they call it THE PRESENT.”

“Skepticism sharpens. Cynicism corrodes.”

“I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.”

“A quick guide to Londoners and what they really think: "Don't mention it" ("Please continue to thank me ."); "I have half a mind to say something ." ("I am adding to years' worth of unspoken resentment that I will silence with claret or a very dry white wine"); "Mustn't complain ." ("I have just complained."); "Probably my fault ." ("This is your fault.")”

“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts, but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

—Columbia philosophy professor Sidney Morgenbesser, at a talk on the philosophy of language by Oxford philosopher J.L. Austin. Austin noted that while a double negative amounts to a positive, never does a double positive amount to a negative.

“Why is God making me suffer so much? Just because I don't believe in him?”

—Columbia philosophy professor Sidney Morgenbesser, in the final weeks of his life, as he struggled with complications from Lou Gehrig's disease.

“Plans are useless, but planning is essential.”

“The root of the problem is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.”

“He's been straddling that fence for so long, he must have splinters in his butt. ”

“You can't legislate intelligence.”

“I doubled my smartivity!”

“Every day I wake up and ask myself, "What planet am I on?"”

“Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought. ”

“Two men in a burning house should not stop to argue with each other.”

“Leadership is the art of accomplishing more than the science of management says is possible. ”

“I'm not popular. I'm just on a lot of mailing lists.”

“I hate people who keep quotes files.”

“It's hard to look up to a man who always has his ear to the ground.”

“It [the ERA] is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

“Cold hands, warm heart. Clean hair, dirty mind. ”

“I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat. ”

“You can't legislate intelligence.”

“The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.”